Hello 2006

In few hours it will be 2006 in my side of the world… time to welcome the New Year with an open heart and mind. I am looking forward for what 2006 has to offer as well as what I have to offer.

Before I say goodbye to 2005, I would like thank God for all the blessings & challenges this year have given me and to all the people around me. I wish the New Year to be good to everyone.

Note to self for 2006: live life to the fullest & live healthy.

Happy New Year to All.

Christmas 2005

I’m glad Christmas holiday is over hmmm of course I am not counting the New Years celebration but hey is it not as intense as Christmas... life is now back to normal. As much as I like having extra day off work, watching the Christmas decor and I love seeing the holiday spirit in people’s faces, I am thankful it is over.

Christmas is supposed to be a moment filled with laughers and joy shared with family and friends, happiness for the salvation of the soul and never ending exhibition of affection and love to others.. sadly Christmas is becoming more and more commercialize nowadays.

I actually enjoyed Christmas celebration, stayed home & be lazy and spend time with my family. Not to mention visited my "second" family and spend some time with eXtra Oridinary.

The hardest thing to say...

"I am sorry" is the hardest thing to say.

It is the hardest thing to say when you hurt the people you deeply care about.
Sometimes we do it unintentional & other times we hurt them intentionally.
Either way saying "I'm sorry" is really hard because you know no matter how sorry you are things cannot be undone, the damage cannot be reversed, the scares will remain in their heart.

"I'm really sorry I didn't mean to hurt you but I know I did."

Commemorating My Hometown Bautista

Bautista is politically subdivided into 18 barangays:

1. Artacho
2. Cabuaan
3. Cacandongan
4. Diaz
5. Nandacan
6. Nibaliw Norte
7. Nibaliw Sur
8. Palisoc Poblacion East
9. Poblacion West
10. Pogo
11. Poponto
12. Primicias
13. Ketegan
14. Sinabaan
15. Vacante
16. Villanueva Baluyot

"The Municipality of Bautista is located in the eastern portion of Pangasinan and it is within the 5th Congressional District of the province of Pangasinan. It has a total land area of 8,312 and it is 211 kilometers away from Manila, about 32 kilometers from the City of Dagupan and 39 kilometers from Lingayen the capital town of Pangasinan. Bautista is bounded by the municipalities of Alcala on the north; Bayambang on the south; the Agno River and Bayambang on the west; and Moncada, Tarlac on the east. The town is composed of eighteen barangays with a total population of 23,375 (NSO, 1995)."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bautista,_Pangasinan
http://www.pangasinan.org/surfmap.htm
http://elgu2.ncc.gov.ph/bautista/index.php?cat1=3&cat2=3

Thanks to the above websites for making it possible for me and the rest of the world to know more about a great town called Bautista... my hometown.

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When I was growing up the world seems so big, seem so scary, I felt like I was this fragile creature that has no power to cope up with it. Now I look at the world and think to myself “not bad, it is really not that big.” Looking back then, I would have never thought that it is possible to conquer the world. Now, I am probably on my way conquering my part of the world. Through my journey, I’ve discovered that a home will always be home anywhere I go. My childhood home is Namualan, it is a small village located at Brgy. Diaz in Bautista.

Namualan… you hold my precious childhood memories, I am miles away but no matter where I would be you are always my home.

Goodbye My Love...

I looked for a friend, I found you
I was down, you lift me up.
I longed for a lover, I had you
I was cold, you fired me up.
I prayed for the one, I got you
Just to find out I had to let go of you.

Just when I got used having you,
I had to let you go.
I had to let you go before it’s too late
I have to let you go while I still can.

Now that you are gone,
The excruciating pain seems endless.
But I know I had to, ’coz it is best for you.
I will bear the pain to see you happy.

Everything has a beginning and end.
We had a beginning and for now this is the end.
Time will pass and things will change
But my love for you will remain the same.

But before I say goodbye,
I want you to know that given a choice
I will still choose to take this road once again.
And most of all, I want you to know
You are one of the greatest things that happened to me
And for that I thank you.

Angels Among Us... by Alabama

Note: Thanks for all the angels in my life...

I was walking home from school on a cold winter's day
Took a shortcut through the woods and I lost my way
It was getting late and I was scared and alone
Then a kind old man took my hand and led me home
Mama couldn't see him, but he was standing there
But I knew in my heart, he was the answer to my prayers

Oh I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live
To teach us how to give
To guide us with a light of love

When life dealt troubled times and had me down on my knees
There's always been someone there to come along and comfort me
A kind word from a stranger to lend a helping hand
A phone call from a friend just to say I understand
Ain't it kind of funny at the dark end of the road
Someone lights the way with just a single ray of hope

Oh I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live
To teach us how to give
To guide us with a light of love

They wear so many faces
Show up in the strangest places
Grace us with thier mercy
In our time of need

Oh I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live
To teach us how to give
To guide us with a light of love

Re-engineering Process…

Re-engineering Process…The road has been tremendously bumpy lately making it obvious that things might have not been handled effectively. Re-engineering process is in order. Though I have been down this path many times, my re-engineering skill is still at amateur level. I guess knowing what’s needed brings me one step closer to the solution. Finding solutions to the problems and sticking to the plan would be another story.

Webster defines re-engineering as:

The examination and modification of a system to reconstitute it in a new form
and the subsequent implementation of the newform.

Not an easy task for a ordinary girl like me. But hey I'm given this life and I intend to make the best out of it, if it needs re-engineering this so be it.

Confuse...

I am so confuse with pretty much everything right now. I am torn between so many things, zillions of forces forcing in different directions and it feels like there is no end to this whole confusion process.

Part of me thinks maybe it is the best time for me to do this, on the other hand part of me is saying maybe I should wait. I am torn between school, work, relationships and life itself. In order to get one thing you must sacrifice. How would I know when it is time for this and it is time for that? I thought I had it all figured out but the truth is I don’t even know what my goals anymore. It is my goal to really pursue my career or just be a bum for the rest of my life or maybe just be a full time mom or be single for the rest of my life?

At times I think I know what I want but the process of getting there seems so long and very complicated or maybe I am living the life that I want right now and I don’t even know it. What if there is nothing beyond this point, what if I should be contented at this kind of setup? I am so confuse on when I should set aside one thing and work with other ones. So how do people know when to take a chance? Am I just making life more complicated that it is? It is just me who’s so confuse feeling that the rest of the world conspired to put me in this situation and be an object of the universes’ laughter or it is true?

When or how would I reach the point where I can actually say “I am happy and satisfied?” See, to confuse things even more, in a way I am currently contented but then again I want to take a chance on doing something. When would this whole thing end so I can finally get the answers to my questions?

I think I am just blabbering for no reason at all, I am tired and exhausted – bottom I am confuse right now maybe I should just get some rest. I will just go with the flow.